Skip to main content

dealing with the difficulties of being proud

I don't know if it's odd that I don't really tell people about the fact that I'm leaving for exchange.
I only started out telling a few friends what I was doing (or trying to do) because if I had been rejected, I would have had to tell everyone I didn't get in.
When I got nominated by SFU, I used the same reasoning. "I got nominated, but I haven't been accepted by my host uni yet!"
When I got accepted I said, "Well, what if for some reason my student visa doesn't work out and then I'm not allowed to study there?" -- my student visa has been recently approved, by the way, so that's good news.
When I got automatically enrolled in the Formal Exchange Program (FEP) and people asked me about course selection I deflected and asked them what courses they were planning on doing instead of talking about me. 
When I was told my leave of absence of work had been approved,  some coworkers started asking questions and I almost felt embarrassed about having not told them earlier. 
It's not that I am not proud of myself for getting in, I just feel weird talking about it. The same feeling happens when people ask me how I did on finals or assignments -- I normally resort to the trusty "Better than expected!". 
I think it just stems from me not liking to talk about things that I've worked hard at and received positive results. (I think the fact that I re-typed that previous sentence numerous times to avoid saying "achievement" or "accomplishment" speaks for itself.) 

I want to change that though. I don't think I'll become someone who is suddenly open about everything and suddenly, for example, willing to share my marks with people other than family, but!!! I do want to feel like I could tell people if I wanted to and not feel like I'm bragging/boasting. Because I think it's healthy to be proud of your hard work (or any amount of work put in, to be honest!). You did it! I did it! ... that felt weird to type.

Now that my last semester at SFU (until September of next year that is) has come to a close with finals finished and marks released and all of my Christmas shopping is basically done too, I can really focus on hanging out with friends and family without stress!! Well, less stress than usual.

However...
I really gotta start packing...

okay bye
-jaime

also ps if you've read this far you can comment below saying something you've done/accomplished/etc that you're proud of bc we need more good things in life what with the state of this world at the moment. 

Labels:

Comments

  1. Khayr? 16 January 2018 at 21:58

    I’m proud of my A in a bio 12 class that has an average of 60% lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. - jaime16 January 2018 at 22:21

      Oh my goodness yes girl. That's a great grade!!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

power of personality: enneagram

 Enneagram comes from the Greek words, "Ennea," meaning 9, and "gramma," meaning written or drawn.
Post a Comment
Read more

the (mis) representation of Asians in Hollywood

This May, Asians across the globe will be celebrating Asian Heritage Month, more commonly known in the USA as AAPI heritage month.   This felt like the right time to rehash one of my favourite essays that I had the opportunity to write while in university about the misrepresentation of Asian Americans (and Asians in Western societies) in media.
Post a Comment
Read more

sleep, pretty darling, do not cry

It's been over a week since I've arrived in the Netherlands and it's been a couple days since my parents and I parted ways: them back home to Canada and me back to my residence in Maastricht. It's strange to be away from home. Throughout the week I had my parents by my side to help navigate through the towns and through living abroad. Now that they're a 9-hour flight plus a 2.5-hour train ride away, it's suddenly hit me that I now have to navigate this alone. Although there's a huge international student population here in the city (meaning I'm probably not the only kid who's homesick after a week), it feels like everyone I've met is eager and excited to be here. Meanwhile, my brain is trying to convince me that coming here was all one big mistake. I know that in a few days -- or weeks --  I'll start to adjust to life on my own, but right now, it seems like an impossible task. Even though my parents have said that if I wanted to come home...
Post a Comment
Read more