dealing with the difficulties of being proud

I don't know if it's odd that I don't really tell people about the fact that I'm leaving for exchange.

I only started out telling a few friends what I was doing (or trying to do) because if I had been rejected, I would have had to tell everyone I didn't get in.

When I got nominated by SFU, I used the same reasoning. "I got nominated, but I haven't been accepted by my host uni yet!"

When I got accepted I said, "Well, what if for some reason my student visa doesn't work out and then I'm not allowed to study there?" -- my student visa has been recently approved, by the way, so that's good news.

When I got automatically enrolled in the Formal Exchange Program (FEP) and people asked me about course selection I deflected and asked them what courses they were planning on doing instead of talking about me. 

When I was told my leave of absence of work had been approved,  some coworkers started asking questions and I almost felt embarrassed about having not told them earlier. 

It's not that I am not proud of myself for getting in, I just feel weird talking about it. The same feeling happens when people ask me how I did on finals or assignments -- I normally resort to the trusty "Better than expected!". 

I think it just stems from me not liking to talk about things that I've worked hard at and received positive results. (I think the fact that I re-typed that previous sentence numerous times to avoid saying "achievement" or "accomplishment" speaks for itself.) 

I want to change that though. I don't think I'll become someone who is suddenly open about everything and suddenly, for example, willing to share my marks with people other than family, but!!! I do want to feel like I could tell people if I wanted to and not feel like I'm bragging/boasting. Because I think it's healthy to be proud of your hard work (or any amount of work put in, to be honest!). You did it! I did it! ... that felt weird to type.

Now that my last semester at SFU (until September of next year that is) has come to a close with finals finished and marks released and all of my Christmas shopping is basically done too, I can really focus on hanging out with friends and family without stress!! Well, less stress than usual.

However...

I really gotta start packing...

okay bye

-jaime

also ps if you've read this far you can comment below saying something you've done/accomplished/etc that you're proud of bc we need more good things in life what with the state of this world at the moment.