Enneagram comes from the Greek words, "Ennea," meaning 9, and "gramma," meaning written or drawn.
Yeah okay, so what does that mean? Basically, 9 personality types, but you can also have "Wings" so you can sort of be two personality types? One main one, and some characteristics of another, if I'm understanding that right, and honestly? I probably am not. I am not a specialist!
The first time I did the enneagram test, I got Type 4 which is like, the most dramatic and saddest of all the enneagram types. Needless to say, don't do personality tests when you're having a bad day. I am now (more consistently) a Type 2.
Type 2s are helpers. They are, according to the Enneagram Institute, caring, demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive (or rather, "unhealthy" 2s are possessive). You can be unhealthy or healthy, and for 2s, that means either being insanely manipulative or being deeply unselfish and altruistic. Greaaaaat.
The Enneagram Institute will tell you what your Type's basic fear is, basic desire, your key motivations, and what it means when you have wings. Your wings are usually the types before and after yours (so I could be a Two with a 1 wing or 3 wing, aka 2w1 or 2w3). Are you confused? I am. Not gonna lie, I usually ignore the wings because they mean nothing to me.
As a 2, my basic fear is that I am unwanted and unworthy of being loved. YIKES. But also scarily accurate. My basic desire is to feel loved, which also... scarily accurate.
Did you know Eleanor Roosevelt was also a Type 2? Who knew she did the test! (She definitely did not and nor did Pope John XXIII, whoever that is).
I told my therapist, during our consultation, about my Enneagram and she immediately went, "Oh yes, I know about that, and honestly, from what you've said so far, that makes a lot of sense." I am a helper. I know it, my friends know it, my therapist (who has only spoken to me for 15 minutes as of yet) knows it.
And my whole panic of: "I don't know if I'm helping people because I genuinely want to or because I want to see myself as being helpful" is basically what being a Type 2 is. I love helping people, but also my worth is tied to how others see me (as being helpful and caring). If they don't see it/want it/need it, I start wondering why I wasn't enough for them, why I wasn't worthy enough.
Okay, here comes the cynicism. It's just another personality test. You answer a bunch of questions, they tell you what your type is, and you can either agree or disagree. The first time I took this test I disagreed, now I don't! And honestly, you don't even need to take the test. Just read all the descriptions and figure out which one fits (if any at all).
I could definitely look at the other types and find things that feel like me as well, but being a Helper is a big part of my personality. I pick out the things I agree with and leave what doesn't apply, as with any personality test, but I feel like I learnt so much about myself through reading about my Type. I definitely had my, "Aha!" moments with this one. Well, I guess it was less, "Aha," and more like, "Oh my God, I am like this, that's not good."
I know that it isn't science, and also uh... evangelical Christians really love it which is interesting but even so, like any personality test, there are pros and cons. They told me I fear being unloved and I gosh, do I ever. But I didn't realise it until I read it.
It's free therapy! Just take everything with a grain of salt.
two - sleeping at last (relevant song, not one I like so: do anything for love - franklin electric)
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