published (but not really)

I may never be a published writer — and that's okay.

I mean, technically I do have works that have been published... just not works that I can attach my name to (with the exception of a short story I wrote when I was 10 that was published by my school district with a bunch of other students' writing). 

I've written before that I am not a poet and so the mere idea of compiling them into one big document to be sent off to a publisher to look at and judge and say, "You seriously think we're going to publish this?" is not something I want to deal with. 

Scaredy-cat? Maybe. Probably. Definitely.

But also, my poems are not meant for the whole world. Not yet, anyway. Maybe not ever! 

So instead, I took matters into my own hands. I wanted to have a hardcopy of all my poems. Well, all the ones I've written in the past few months. 

Self-publishing seemed like too much work (all that formatting seemed tedious) and my poems were all written on Canva (because I wanted graphics) and so, where did that leave me?

Well, it left me going to some photobook website, adding 171 poems, and spending big bucks just so I could hold my words in my hands. (I got 50% off so actually it wasn't that bad in the end.)

I titled it, "For Me (and for You)" because while I write for me, I often write for others too. Sometimes specific people... often for specific people.. but also for anyone out there that might relate.

I want people to be able to read the things I write and say, "Wow, same." I want people to not feel alone. I want people to feel like their feelings are valid. 

Your feelings are valid.

Also, the book is really fucking pretty.

you're in every word 

i write,

but one day,

you won't be.

so,

this one's for you,

they're all for you,

always,

even the ones that

aren't about just you (or us)

and especially the ones

that are all about

just me.

ghosts - james vincent mcmorrow