not bob ross

 I am not Bob Ross. I don't even use acrylic paints.

But, I do use watercolours (sorta) and when I paint, I always keep his phrases in my back pocket. Phrases like, "happy little accidents" and "happy little trees" and even his gentle, "There." 

Bob Ross has always been a calming figure for me, and for a lot of people I know. I would put his show on as I studied because watching him paint is such a stress-free experience. And yes, my family did make fun of me for doing this (but they probably secretly loved it). 

His whole way of thinking that "there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents" is an important one to me. There are so many instances in my life where I feel like I made a mistake — like if I did something different, I would have gotten what I wanted. But he's right, there are no mistakes. Just happy little accidents. 

Mistakes indicate blame. They indicate fault and control. The onus is put on us, the individual, to have done better. Accidents, however, are out of our control. They happen regardless of what we've done or thought.

Now, a mistake can cause an accident (like failing to signal a lane change could lead to a car crash). But accidents don't cause mistakes. 

But for Bob Ross, there are no mistakes. And I think what he means by that is that we shouldn't blame ourselves when things we perceive as bad happen to us. It's like the kid-appropriate version of, "Shit happens." We just have to try and make the best out of a bad situation (like when we paint an ugly tree or lose someone we love) and keep going. 

It's not your fault. And it's not my fault. Learn from what happened, but don't put the blame on yourself (unless you did something you know you shouldn't have, like texting while driving). 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't marinate. Don't marinate in your guilt or in those thoughts that tell you it was your fault, that you somehow deserved what happened to you. No one deserves to have bad things happen to them. Acknowledge those feelings, and then tell them: "What's done is done."

 Learn. Grow. Release. And keep trying your best. 

i'll still have me - cyn, aquilo